Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
