Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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