Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I met the friendliest cop last night
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
