Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Randomize
