I wannas sexs uuuuu
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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