you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
