Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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