Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Randomize
