I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
