I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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