Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
