He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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