it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i love accidental penises.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
