apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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