I think I won the penis lottery.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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