We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Randomize
