she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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