New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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