I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
