I hate all girls vehemently.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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