I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
