Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize