We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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