Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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