question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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