Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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