I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
