Michael Bay diarrhea
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
