used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
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