garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
