were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
