thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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