Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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