im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
