His pubic hair was longer than his dick
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Everyone says I win the strip club
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
