Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
