I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
