I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
