I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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