she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
