She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
