you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
