just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
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