i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
