I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
