We won't sleep together?
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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