I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
