I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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