Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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