Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Where is the hickey?
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
